How you can deal with bullying on estates

Bullying is a worldwide problem, and estimates show that every year more than a billion children experience some form of violence, particularly in school. But bullying doesn’t only manifest in the school environment.

Bullying is becoming a concern in residential estates, with a growing number of exasperated parents reporting the incidents to estate managers. If you’re a manager who has experienced an increase in the reports of bullying on estates, you’re not alone. But what’s the best way to manage this?

Here Dean McCoubrey, founder of MySociaLife, which teaches modern life skills at schools, offers some advice on how this intergenerational problem can be addressed. Get on top of bullying now

Proving it

One of the most difficult things to do when it comes to bullying is proving that the action occurred, particularly if it’s verbal abuse. ‘It’s hard to prove because often victims are fearful and they are scared to talk for fear of repercussions because they have been so traumatised. In some cases, they think they are in the wrong or that there is something wrong with them.

‘Bullies are also very good at hiding their intimidation. Even if estates have cameras, from the recordings of which you would potentially be able to tell if a bullying incident occurred, bullies would be able, depending on their age, to know how to make sure that they are not in view of the cameras. So, this is why it’s always hard to prove,’ says McCoubrey.

Besides having cameras up, and ensuring that all areas are well lit, McCoubrey also recommends making security staff aware of the incidence so that they can also help to be the eyes and ears on the ground and provide witness statements.

Prevention is better than cure

McCoubrey says that the best way of tackling abuse is to create an environment and culture in the estate that doesn’t tolerate such behaviour.

He explains: ‘That culture normally comes from good leadership. Culture is so important. Look at countries and companies that get this right. They create the right environment and an understanding. They have leaders or executive committees that highlight what it is they stand for.

‘This is the same at schools – the good ones have a policy and it shows what they stand for. If there’s a chink in the chain, you will have a problem because it’s very easy for manipulative people to find it and abuse it. You need clear guidelines and policies on the estate that highlight what the estate is willing to put up with and what it won’t.’

Have a complaints procedure in place

McCoubrey recommends having a good, transparent complaints procedure in place so that parents and residents can highlight their concerns and come forward to report incidences.

‘You need a way to investigate and evaluate complaints – just like companies and schools do. In general, my experience of bullying is that it’s incredibly hard to track and prove, and as a result there are no consequences. Bullying is insidious and creeps around, and not many of us understand it.

‘But you need to make sure that you understand the importance of mental health and being able to speak to the community about this. I understand that’s a big ask of estate managers. But you must ensure that residents can be a part of the solution. You will need bullying solutions. Schools attend to bullying in several ways, but ultimately the first thing to do is to prevent it, then to monitor it so that there can be evidence. If that fails, having someone come in to teach modern life skills consistently can be an important solution,’ says McCoubrey.

Invitations to experts to speak about life skills and behaviour can be extended to include wildlife and environmental experts to discuss behaviour towards the estate’s wild and domestic animals.

When to get the police involved

You need to get the police involved when it’s physically harmful, repeated and ongoing, says McCourbrey. ‘But you need to have proof. When it comes to cyberbullying, it’s important to take screen recordings of it. Unfortunately, if you don’t have the proof, it’s going to fall on deaf ears as the very limited resources within the police will not take it seriously.